Signs You Are Her Backup Boyfriend

Signs You Are Her Backup Boyfriend

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A backup boyfriend, standby lover, or spare-tire lover often means a potential future romantic or sexual partner if a present relationship fails or ends unexpectedly. The major goal of keeping a backup relationship is to prevent becoming devastated and alone after splitting with another lover. Every day, dating relationships get more and more intricate. New patterns emerge periodically, from benching to ghosting and breadcrumbing. Something new surfaces just as you believe you have a firm hold on the dating scene. Backburner partnerships are one such fad currently popular.

Below mentioned are some backup boyfriend indications

A backup plan indicates proper future preparation, except for situations involving relationships. A backup relationship may easily become complicated and cause the person emotionally engaged in great suffering and heartache. If you learn that your girl is keeping you as a fallback and not a priority, it might be terrible for you.

backup boyfriend

The girl maintains the connection according to her rules.

She talks to and hangs out with you but doesn’t commit to you. She also sets ground rules for your relationship that you must abide by.

She avoids talking about exclusivity.

The fact that she doesn’t bring up exclusivity with you indicates that she’s leaving her options open. Hang out together, watch movies, and schedule lunch and dinner dates.

She shuns close physical contact.

One of the answers to your “Am I her backup plan” query may be to avoid physical closeness. One of the key indicators that you are her second option is this. She won’t want physical intimacy with you because you two are only in a backup relationship.

When you are with her, she appears disinterested.

Do you see how your girlfriend is oblivious to you? Do you have the impression that she is not listening to you? She dismisses your concerns when you discuss them with her rather than providing suggestions or attempting to console you.

She is unavailable on weekends.

This can be one of the indicators that she sees you as a choice. She doesn’t even have time for you on the weekends or holidays, let alone take time out for you during the week.

Other males are active on her social media.

When there are several other males to contend with, in addition to the lack of exclusivity, you can be certain that your relationship is a backup. She doesn’t give you clear answers about her so called friends on social media.

One of the simplest indicators that a female is using you as a backup boyfriend is this.

She doesn’t provide information to you.

Another crucial indication is that you are her second option. She doesn’t share her successes, pleasures, anxieties, problems, or weaknesses with you.

The woman is not emotionally committed to the partnership.

Your partner lacks emotional investment in the relationship or you. This is because you are her backup boyfriend option. She usually cancels last minute whenever you make plans to do anything together if something comes up that requires her attention. This attitude shows her lack of commitment and unnecessary pricey ways.

She can’t stand the thought of you leaving.

She will go out of her way to ensure that it does not work out whenever you attempt to leave her. Even if you want to end the unsatisfying relationship and move on she will come up with ideas to make you stay.

Any conflict results in extreme responses.

Every time you address her conduct pattern, she breaks down in tears and becomes irrationally theatrical.

Demands monetary benefits

You will be regarded like a cash cow that can be milked whenever necessary when you are the backup boyfriend. She will approach you and seek assistance if she is late on her rent or cannot afford the pair of shoes she truly wants.

Constant comparisons

The girl who is using you as her fallback plan will keep making comparisons between you and other men in her life. She’ll constantly point out your flaws and take advantage of your weaknesses to make you feel weak and unworthy.

Your intuition alerts you to a problem.

She won’t ever provide you happiness or satisfaction in life. If you have a persistent, troubling sense or intuition that something in your relationship is off, then make yourself free from such a situation as early as possible.

You may also like to read: 10 Signs She Likes You Secretly

A possible love interest is a fallback in this kind of relationship. While not committing to the relationship or being emotionally committed, one person holds the other on the proverbial leash. The recipient of this type of relationship is left with the status of a backup boyfriend or girlfriend, which is heartbreaking.

The ideal nice man to be married to and who is also appreciated by the girl’s parents is a backup boyfriend. Although he may not be attractive and have a normal lifestyle and work, he satisfies all the requirements to get the family’s approval for the partnership. A female may not feel excited by a guy who is a backup plan, but he certainly offers stability assurance.


Mona has been a part of the health and beauty-related industry for many years and loves writing on topics related to natural DIY, skincare, haircare, makeup, and fashion.